Chaos

Essay written for class.

I thrive on chaos.

Well, maybe not thrive, because I know of no one that actually enjoys seeing and feeling their hands shake uncontrollably with adrenaline or the acidic, churning feeling that blossoms in their guts when something goes horribly wrong. But I do find that these moments bring about growth in a person’s resourcefulness and ability to stay calm in dire situations. Some might be hasty to write such a belief off as a defense for slackers and for the perpetually disorganized, but I like to see it in a different light.

I’ve always been a disorganized and somewhat chaotic person. Even through the efforts of my parents (the threats, the bribes and everything in between), I’ve remained decidedly in what I suppose is my natural state. There have been times when I’ve been fed up with my constant inability to stay orderly, but those occasions usually only last a matter of days until I quickly fall back into my old ways. But enough with the negatives, and on to the positives. Through the stressful situations that I’ve put myself through (missing the online deadline to apply for Carolina, nearly getting kicked out of Carolina for forgetting to turn in important papers, locking myself out of my house in a blizzard, freezing up during a major class presentation), I’ve become adept at making up Plan B.

I can’t begin to explain how many times friends have about situations they seemingly had no control over, when, in my view, they had several options to choose from that could lessen, if not alleviate, their problems. My friend recently told me a horror story involving her accidentally urinating on her shorts in her haste to keep her bladder from bursting. After listening to her embarrassing story, I offered her several pieces of advice as to what she could have done to make her situation less obviously related to peeing oneself.

1. Check for a hand dryer, obviously.
2. No hand dryers? Take a 180 and douse your shorts in water to mask conspicuous pee marks.
3. Better yet, splash your shirt a bit too, just for consistency.
4. Still stink of urine? Get a cup of coffee, or white tea if you don’t want it to stain, and sprinkle liberally. Or if you are really paranoid about stains, just hold it without a lid and let the aromas waft out.

Ridiculous as the above plans may seem now, my friend found them to be of great genius and
promptly added the words “damage control” to my name in her phone.

Things seldom work out the way you want them to, and your capacity to change plans and to find ways to make things right can be the only thing that prevents a bad situation from spiraling. It takes a lot to calm your frazzled mind after you realize you’ve just made a mistake that just might result in you living out your future in a box under a bridge, but it is in this ability to clear your mind and take charge that you can find the best opportunities to grow and to make it through other stressful situation. So go ahead, mingle with chaos. Although it will never be your friend, it will become your best teacher.